Avoiding the scams and knowing who to call.

Whatever it is that draws Western men to the Filipina is up for debate. Most likely, it is the sheer vast number of Philippine women seeking something different, an increase in their standard of living and an escape from the widespread corruption and poverty of the Philippines. Finding the right Filipina is no easy task, however, as the number of scams is higher than ever.

Opportunity Knocks

Distinguishing between the wholesome girl next door, and the scammer is getting tougher all the time. Good Philippine women are definitely out there. The country has no shortage of beautiful women seeking an honest relationship. On the other hand, there is no shortage of gold diggers either, not professional scammers but interested in pure financial gain at any cost. Love and physical attraction simply doesn’t matter for these girls. Many girls with their profiles on Internet match making sites are seeking immigration to the U.S., Europe or Canada, and as long as the man has money, the Filipina will likely put out the For Sale sign.

Avoiding the Pitfalls

Sudden or frequent Filipina emergencies, followed by financial requests should be verified. Early in the relationship, if your partner in the Philippines makes requests for financial support, it would be wise to move on to the next potential partner. Fraud and relationship scams run rampant here, and what may start out as help with the bills, may be followed by a long list of bills and emergencies. In short, a scammer or gold digger can slowly create a financial and emotional nightmare.

Verifying her Story

If you’ve found someone in the Philippines and all looks good, it pays to get a background check. Many men find beautiful and decent brides from the Philippines, but finding the perfect Filipina is never easy. Taking the relationship to the next level has the potential to be costly. It’s a prudent decision to be skeptical in a Philippine relationship. We recommend getting a professional background check service which is confidential, and for specific situations that require knowing exactly what the Filipina is doing, and with whom, we recommend surveillance services.

The Investigators

Investigators in the Philippines, unfortunately, can be fraudulent themselves. We recommend choosing a U.S. owned and operated firm, such as Philippine PI or Wymoo International due to the difference in management styles, level of customer service, and reputable investigative techniques. Furthermore, if you have any problems in your investigation, you have the piece of mind that you’re dealing with a U.S. firm rather than an individual.

Best of luck,

A. Hathaway

© 2006-2008 A. Hathaway

As a webmaster of a Filipina Penpal and dating site, I’m amazed at some member’s relationship mentality. For whatever reason, they view online dating as a jump from meeting to instant marriage without any courtship. This is not the road to take for a successful marriage, be it you meet at an online dating site or your local church.

Most initial contact is based on physical attraction. However, I recommend to members of my site to start out as penpals and act accordingly. No sexual innuendos, no promises, no commitments — take your time getting to know each other and see where it leads. Relationships based solely on looks is usually a recipe for disaster. I’m not saying attraction is not important, but it isn’t the sole criterion to sustaining a long and happy marriage. There has to be more to a relationship than the way he or she looks, but also on what he or she has in common.

Online dating to some is an avenue to circumvent the courtship process. They see someone online, exchange a few emails, and instantly declare love. In a traditional dating scenario you don’t usually declare love after a few dates. Why should online dating be any different? The courting process after meeting someone online should be similar to traditional dating. There is an attraction, you exchange emails, and if interest is sparked you flirt, communicate, and even do a version of traditional dating through online chats, phone calls and spending time getting to know each other. Online dating is not an environment where marriage success is magically guaranteed with a “hello” to a “I do” without involving the courting process.

Taking the penpal approach to meeting someone online, may help keep your behavior in check. I’m amazed when a gentleman is flirting with a lady within the first or second email. This person is usually trying to circumvent the courtship process and in doing so is asking for problems. Many who flirt when flirting is not appropriate, is the type of person a hustler is looking for. Keeping your words appropriate for the stage of the relationship you are in and by starting out as penpals, may be your safest and best approach to finding true love.

If you are in a hurry or feel you don’t have time to waste looking for love, you need to rearrange your priorities or in the long run you may waste a lot more time in divorce court or involved with an unhappy marriage. Do yourself a favor — be a penpal first and let the stages of courtship develop naturally. If you are as lucky as I was, not only will you find true love, but also a best friend for life.